Trying to stay positive.

Things have been going okay lately but its still really hard to cope with everything going on. I hate to say this but sometimes I feel like I could not live without being a mother. Everyone tells me that it will happen and it just takes time, but I have waited what seems like long enough and its still not happening. Today is Fathers day and I cant help but feel bad for my husband who should be a dad right now. I feel that its my fault that I cant give him a child and that maybe it will never happen. How can I live with that for the rest of my life. How am I for sure that my husband will stay with me forever. When I dont know if I will ever be able to give him a real family besides just me and him. I have always wanted a big family with alot of kids. But heck right now I would be happy with one right now. Everyone around me has kids or are pregnant and thats really really hard to be around people even my family with kids. In two months our insurance will cover infertility and so I am going to try that and see what happens this next year after that I am not sure whats going to happen but I only pray that I will be a mom soon.